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Who Wears A Boutonniere According to Wedding Etiquette?

Updated: Apr 16

You don't want to realize the day of your wedding that you forgot a boutonniere for soemeone special! Let's take a look all the potential candidates first, then narrow down the list. Read on!

On this momentous occasion, along with the groom, groomsmen, and the significant guys in your life, are typically invited to wear a boutonniere at your wedding. The symbolic gesture represents the importance of your big day, the regard you have for your male guests, and how honored you are that they have joined in your celebration. They deserve to look handsome and dashing, and a buttonhole is the perfect way to help in that area.

Wedding etiquette recommends you consider boutonnieres for the following people:

  • Groom and Groomsmen

  • Ring Bearer

  • Fathers

  • Grandfathers

Another kind gesture is to extend boutonnieres to stepfathers and step grandfathers. Does your mother or grandmother have a male companion without the nuptials? If yes, consider including them as well, as Grandma will typically be more hurt than her companion that he was left out.

There is one last group of guests you should consider inviting to wear boutonnieres at your wedding: close family or friends that are helping with music or vocals, doing a reading, serving as officiants, and others that have had a special place in your heart over the years. For example, this might include your godfather, or a dear Uncle with whom who share special memories.

Wedding Boutonniere Etiquette
Wedding Boutonniere Etiquette

Pocket Boutonniere Etiquette
Pocket Boutonniere Etiquette

Blush Wedding Boutonniere Etiquette
Blush Wedding Boutonniere Etiquette

Etiquette Aside, Look at Tips for Selecting Flowers for Wedding Boutonnieres

The guys boutonnieres show up in a few key photos for your big day, second only to the girls’ bouquets for flower photos that make their way into your wedding album. Give them the attention they deserve, with intricate details, textures, and color to match your overall theme. Here are some common approaches to deciding flower selections for the wedding boutonniere for the guys:

1. The groom and groomsmen boutonnieres typically reflect flowers and foliage found in the girls' bouquet, usually one or two of the smaller flowers as it needs to fit on their lapel or suspender.

2. The groom's boutonniere is typically a bit showier than the rest of the men that have been singled out for a buttonhole. It might be a more expensive flower, or larger in size, or both!

3. The ring bearer gets an age appropriate buttonhole for the day. If they are very small (1-2 years of age) I usually suggest a silk flower, only because I feel they are less likely to try and eat it! And of course, most ring bearer boutonnieres are smaller than the groomsmen.

4. The remaining guests (fathers, etc) that will be wearing boutonnieres can either match the groomsmen bouts or be further simplified to set the bridal party apart from other distinguished guests.

5. If you are leaning towards roses for the guys buttonholes, I recommend spray roses over standard roses. Yes, they are smaller, but feel that they offer more character when worked in with other flowers. They are also less likely to get bumped around, bruised, and beaten up during the day due to hugs, dancing, and other boisterous events.

6. My favorite last suggestion is to include lots of fine, intricate flowers and foliage in the boutonnieres, as this will add interest, textures, and colors to enhance their attire. Have fun selecting the perfect items for the guys’ boutonnieres!

See our Wedding Boutonniere Gallery here, and take advantage of our wedding flower checklist that will help you identify and plan for who will be adorned with a boutonniere at your wedding.

Have specific questions on boutonnieres? Reach out with a comment, I’ll do my best to help you out! Thank you.

Best wishes for a beautiful wedding, filled with moments and memories with family and friends as you start your new life together!

Would you like to connect with us? Request a free, no-obligation consultation here!

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